there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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