Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
