everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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