i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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