my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
