before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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