Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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