woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
