About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
