Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
