Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
