my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
