bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize