The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize