never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize
