too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
