Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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