He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
