I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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