Buhtt sex?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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