it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
