# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize