i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
