If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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