I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
