i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
