You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
