I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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