just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
