U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Send help, water and tortillas.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
