omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
