I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
