do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
