break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
