Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it because I queefed?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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