I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
