in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
