youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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