hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
