I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
