Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
