fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
