i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Less talking, more tequila
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
