smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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