your parents love me but you hate me
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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