my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
