Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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