It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
