You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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