is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
