yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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