Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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