Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
