Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
