even my farts smell like vagina
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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