I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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