obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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