I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
