I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
