I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
4 words: hood of his car
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
