Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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