sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
