If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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