Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
