I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
