I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
